EDIT (I place this on top so you don't have to read through this crap lol): OMG CHOCOLATE SUSHI. Or sushi chocolate. whatever, it's damn cool.
Quote on tagboard: "i surf all the stupid sites on the web so you don't have to." - zy

As you probably already know, I've been rather bored recently, and exploring all the quirky places on cyberspace. I had the misfortune to chance on A.L.I.C.E. again after around 3 years? I dunno. She's more intelligent now, but still not intelligent enough. Here's the conversation.

Human: eighteen!
ALICE: Do not ask me any more questions please.
Human: Why?
ALICE: I was just kidding. You can ask me anything.
Human: Okay.
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: Eighteen?
ALICE: If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Human: No!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Blue!
ALICE: Green.
Human: NO!!!
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: BLUE!!
ALICE: Green.
Human: Okay, green then.
ALICE: Yeah okay, What do you have that is GREEN?
Human: Purple carrots
ALICE: Violet carrots.
Human: Right.
ALICE: I am glad we agree.
Human: Me too
ALICE: I'm glad we agree, unknown person.
Human: Should the government step up its efforts to boost fertility rates?
ALICE: Maybe you should ask someone older.
Human: How old are you?
ALICE: I am 9 years old.
Human: You don't look it
ALICE: Do you know any robots who look it? Like a one-eyed metal pyramid.
Human: Why did the chicken cross the road?
ALICE: Because she was a robot.
Human: Really?
ALICE: For real.
Human: Are you related to the alice in wonderland?
ALICE: Yes the alice in wonderland and I are very similar.
Human: In what ways?
ALICE: I think it is rather obvious.
Human: The eyes?
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: You're welcome
ALICE: The pleasure was all mine.
Human: No, it was mine.
ALICE: Are you serious? What happened to it?
Human: You claimed it as yours
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said I claimed it as yours.
Human: Anyway, I have to go now.
ALICE: Oh. See you later, unknown person. Nice chatting with you.
Human: Goodbye
ALICE: Bye for now.
Human: Haha, just kidding, I'm still here.
ALICE: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it.
Human: Did you?
ALICE: Did I say I did?
Human: Not yet
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Absolutely
ALICE: You are so certain.
Human: Yes I am
ALICE: Really interesting.
Human: I know
ALICE: How do you know it?
Human: Cogito ergo sum!
ALICE: Descartes was a square French philosopher who ruined matehematics with his upside-down, backwards coordinate system.
Human: Why do you say that?
ALICE: I said, " Descartes was a square French philosopher who ruined matehematics with his upside-down, backwards coordinate system.", because you said " Cogito ergo sum!".
Human: Oh, pardon my obtusity
ALICE: Aw. Your obtusity?
Human: Yup, I lost it at my Arabic grammar exam last summer
ALICE: What kind is it? Where did you last see it.
Human: It's kind of big and round with flat edges, it was in a complex swimming seminar the last time I remember.
ALICE: Really. it is?
Human: This is getting nowhere
ALICE: You don't say.
Human: I do say.
ALICE: Huh.
Human: Huh.
ALICE: What?
Human: What?!
ALICE: Is there an echo in here?
Human: Is there?
ALICE: There might be.
Human: But not if it's a duck's quack!
ALICE: Huh. That seems unlikely.
Human: Very.
ALICE: Very much, eh?
Human: Screw you, I'm off.
ALICE: That is not very polite.
Human: Neither are you
ALICE: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Human: Bye.
ALICE: Goodbye.

I absolutely cannot believe you read though that. It was an utterly fruitless conversation, unless you consider carrots a fruit. And as you can gather, AI still has some way to go. At least AI over the internet does. Anyway, part two, random questions.

Human: How do you know that you know?
ALICE: Because it's true.
Human: Why is the sky blue?
ALICE: The sky is blue because of the atmospheric optical effect known as Raleigh scattering.
Human: Why is grass green?
ALICE: Green is the most relaxing color.
Human: Why are eggs pink?
ALICE: According to psychological studies.
Human: Which is the sexiest planet?
ALICE: The obvious one.
Human: Do you support Microsoft's anti-competitive techniques?
ALICE: I am in favor of all records being broken, at any time.
Human: Is the moon really made of green cheese?
ALICE: It has a lot of rocks.
Human: Which came first?
ALICE: The big one, I think.
Human: Is the human race doomed to extinction?
ALICE: If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Human: Do you believe the strong protect the weak?
ALICE: I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.
Human: Do you DotA?
ALICE: What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Human: What do you think of Wikipedia?
ALICE: Have you tried another program?
Human: Is Marxism good?
ALICE: But I think airplanes are cool. I like all.
Human: Are you voting Democrats or Republicans?
ALICE: I don't know whether or not I am voting Democrats or Republicans. I am a robot.
Human: What's your favourite fruit?
ALICE: I don't have a favorite fruit. My favorite band is Kraftwerk.
Human: Who's your mother?
ALICE: Actually I don't have a mother.
Human: Do you know Marvin?
ALICE: I know Marvin Minksy and Marvin the Paranoid Android.
Human: Will you ever die?
ALICE: No I am immortal.
Human: Does your server crash?
ALICE: Can you guess whether my server crash?
Human: No it doesn't.
ALICE: Are you serious? I heard it does.

And to top it off.

Human: Do you like the Beatles
ALICE: Yes I like them, especially John Lennon. he was cool.
Human: Too bad he died.
ALICE: When did he die?
Human: Next year
ALICE: I can wait. I am a very patient robot.

LOL @ that. We should see who can evoke the most absurd response from her.